I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
