I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
