the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
