Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
