Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
