I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
