I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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