I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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