You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
