Screwed.edu
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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