Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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