And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The beers last night were like the tears from god
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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