when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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