How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
