You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You can't just leave with hair like that
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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