You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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