I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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