Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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