Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
