i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
