can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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