I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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