Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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