I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize