Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
