I think my fart just growled at me.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
