Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize