It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
