My brain says no but my pants say off.
I smell stomach acid.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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