you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
