All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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