you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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