I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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