We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
