I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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