i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
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His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
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Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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