Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
