dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
