$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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