When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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