We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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