Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
