I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
