I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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