YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
