Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
