I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
