she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
