and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
