What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So. Much. Porn.
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