sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
