In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
