Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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