I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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