my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
