hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
