You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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