Christians are straight up FREAKS
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
